Anew!

London Coe, Owner & Buyer, Peace on Fifth, Dayton, OH

There is a peripheral pleasure in being inside my head.  I am an introvert and no one knows it, well, actually know you all do.  I like being in my own space seeking my own comfort.  Rarely do I pay attention to the workings and making of others unless or until those actions bring me direct discomfort. When those actions remove from me something that I have fought for, have earned, have inherited. Otherwise, I am quite at peace to move without language and just be.  Can you be like that, too?  Needing to be still and quiet?  

In an effort, strenuous as it can be, I wanted to start paying more attention to the world.  To move out of my head space and show off my muscles, my I-see-you-and-you-matter muscles.  So the top of the month I started to make notes about people and them with me and me with them.  The first week of September I noted some fantastic things happening to me. Since we share, really you are sharing nothing, it is I, wide open and vulnerable (do you see how grumpy I get with the sharing?  Still working on that.) This is what happened to me week 1 September 2013....

23 people not related to me told me "I love you"
12 people told me "I am proud of you"
13 people told me "Thank you" 
14 people said "I trust you"
1 person sent a letter saying "I believe in you and what you do"
3 people said "I need you"
10 people told me "You are powerful"
8 people told me "I can't wait to see you"
2 people gave me copies of my article in last Sunday's paper
8 people told me "I just wanted to say hello and shake your hand"
Called legendary (by an international mini-celebrity), a force of nature, lovely, sparkling, true inspiration, fascinating, community activist, philanthropist, wrong, difficult, unrelenting, aggressive, unfriendly, inflexible, exhausting to deal with and too much.

While there was less fun stuff, the good was so heavy that it wiped out, wiped away chunks of glutenous-ly sordid feedback. As my tally sheet started growing and diversifying of what was coming my way, I was tempted to be my typical self and dismiss, debase, reduce the value of what was being offered. Saying "Oh thanks, but no, no, YOU are great." or "Well it's really nothing" or whatever else I have been fond of saying. Instead, I said "Thank you", "That makes me feel good", "You have earned chocolate this that compliment." This week as I started to become more loving and welcoming, not just open to this ... honoring of my self/work/place in the world I just allowed me to except it. To breathe into it, to open my eyes and watch it, to smell it, to eat it, to embrace it.

As I work, actively to walk closer to the light part of my journey is the receiving of the sacrament of compassion. A holy and reciprocal sacrament. Dishing it out is great, but you/i/we/them/us will get as good as we give. The receiving is part of the dishing out! After this week, I sat still and accepted what came my way, I became more aware of the need to return the favor. To return " I love you"/ "I trust you"/ "I need you"/ "I believe in you"/ "You are powerful" etc.

So let's toast to reciprocity. Right now.

I return the favor in a nutshell:

I love you.
I need you.
I pray for you.
I trust you.
I believe you.
I will light a path when you want to come home.
I will sing your name when you are sad.
I am proud of you.
I am happy for you.
I am happy with you.
I need you to survive.
I forgive you.
I thank you.